1. An amulet, charm, or magic spell
2. The art of casting magic spells
3. Uncanny personal power or influence
Mojo. The people who have it exude chemistry, intrigue, and a sense of adventure. No matter their age, they still turn heads--and say ‘thank you’ for the attention. They seem timeless, or at least relatively unscathed by the passing years, and, in some cases, even seem to get better with age. The relaxed confidence that comes from knowing yourself can be a very powerful aphrodisiac.
Your mojo is still here, waiting for you to pay it some sweet attention. Seriously. Your dynamic, inspired, hot to trot self is hiding away, sleeping. Do you want to reactivate it? Sure, you say. But how? Here are some ideas:
Get a fun hobby
Having fun is intoxicating. Laughing brightens your face and causes feel-good chemicals to rush around inside. The glow of enthusiasm, the twinkle in your eyes, the unity that happens when you have something in common with others, is gooey like caramel. It helps you stick together with others, and it is easy to enjoy. Being around others while you are doing something you are passionate about feels awesome. And, it is very sexy. Sexy is fun. Get a fun hobby.
Start with one small win.
If you let yourself think you'll never be able to win again, you're setting yourself up for the very failure you fear. It's easy to feel overwhelmed when you're trying to reverse your mindset, so try focusing on doing small things well. You don't have to take on the world--just complete one small task with focus and excellence. That small win can help restore your confidence. And if you repeat it, again and again, one step at a time, suddenly you will have managed what may have felt unmanageable.
Shift your Perspective. Sometimes you may feel like you're stuck in cement. Nothing you try seems to work. Stop! Have you been trying new things, or just variations on the same things that you already know don't work? To shift your perspective and regain your mojo, try doing old things in new ways. And that means changing the way you look at things. Changing your view and your perspective can help you find new solutions and new confidence.
Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Especially when you're down, you may judge yourself harshly and speak internally to yourself in terrible ways that you'd never use with anyone else. You can reverse abusive self-talk with the SOS technique:
- Stop and take a breath--this gives you an opportunity to interrupt the cycle.
- Observe what you're saying to yourself and how it makes you feel.
- Shift your response.
Do something that goes against your character
Maybe it’s staying in bed all day with a good book, sumptuously scented tea, and a cat. Maybe it’s flirting with a good looking stranger while you’re out with friends. Maybe it’s jumping off a mountain or doing stand-up comedy. Do something that gets you focused on pleasure, on abandon, and about relishing your life.
Give yourself a standing O
You are phenomenal. You are interesting. You are magnificent. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are so smart. You are important.
Does all this complimenting embarrass you? If so, it is time to give yourself a standing O…a standing ovation, that is.
The shift in your mojo, once you decide you are truly worthwhile, is huge. You are like no other person on this earth, which makes you priceless. But do you realize it? Do you admit your value and contribution? Do you celebrate your wins? You should, because you deserve it.
Getting comfortable with idea that you matter is essential. Take the time to give yourself a standing O.
Only listen to the people who count--then listen to them carefully
You don’t have the time or the energy to listen to opinions of idiots. That’s one joy of getting older—the number of people whose opinions really, really matter has dwindled to maybe 10. These are the people who know you the best, love you the most. They are the ones who will also tell the truth, and knock you on the side of the head when you’re out of line. You’ve learned through the years of experience who they are. Cherish them and listen to their words carefully.
The trouble with the career advice we receive as young people is that it revolves around the question ‘What do you want to do when you grow up?’
A more authentic decision might be about what kind of person you hope to be. Many people, once they have a solid amount of life experiences, learn (the hard way or not) that the most important thing in your life is who you are, not what you do.
The answer, I believe, is like so many of the most important truths in life. It’s a matter of contemplating potentially conflicting ideas in your mind at the same time: knowing, doing and being. And then, resolving those conflicts keeping your main focus--what will your best self do?—uppermost in your mind.
If you’re living meaningfully, you will remain vital and inspired, no matter your age. You won’t look back with regret, or fear death in the future, because, quite simply, you are living as your best self. So get off your ass and do something. Improve the environment, improve something somewhere in the world. Help the people you love the most. And help yourself to be the person you wanted to be when you received that career advice at graduation.
And if you lose track of the meaning…
Re-Focus on your Mission, not your obligations. If you get caught up in a cycle of obligations but shut off from your own positive forces, you can lose touch with what drives you, and you may find yourself trudging through the day. If that happens, it's time to stop and focus on your mission. Why are you doing what you do? What's the motivation, the drive, the passion, behind everything you're doing? If you can find your mission, you'll get back your motivation, and if you get back your motivation you will find your confidence.
You have mojo. Reactivating it will enliven your creative life. Try the above suggestions for a week and see what happens. You will be amazed at what small incremental changes can have on how you feel.
Now go and be awesome!